As a $0.50 bribe of one of my middle school classes to get the girls to stay quiet, I proposed offering one randomly selected quiet student "oh bek won" ($0.50) at the end of the class if their name wasn't written on the board for talking. The students all want this money because it's exactly how much Ddakkboki, a popular spicy rice cake snack costs at the street food vendors.
One of the students quickly had her name on the board, although she had a warning or two beforehand. Instead of quietly accepting her ddakkboki-less fate, in between classes she wrote this on the board, lighting the fuse for what had come to be known as the "Ddakkboki Innovation:"
"It's a Ddakkboki Innovation.
The Ddakkboki Innovation is scary.
So I will go Brian's class.
Result will be shown next week.
I'm your father."
She had come to my class from Brian's class a week ago, and now, with the sudden promise of rice cake evaporating before her very eyes, she was threatening to go back! Although thus far it was to be only a one-woman "Innovation," I was still shocked to see such revolutionary zeal all over the chalkboard upon returning to the class.
I told her she probably meant "Revolution," not "Innovation. She asked me what the difference between the two words was and I told her that Revolution suggested a violent reordering of the establishment while Innovation suggested a new improvement over the old way. She thought about that, wrote Revolution on her paper, but ultimately drew a line through the word and changed it back to Innovation because, she said, "This WILL be an improvement!"
Her best friend was threatening to walk out next week with her, but I may have broken the back of the Ddakkboki "Innovation" when, after a tense and somewhat rigged round of Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Moe, it was her best friend who won the 500 won!
We will see the results next week, as she so ominously predicted.
When I returned to the teacher's lounge, there was a Ddakkboki Manifesto intricately folded on my desk. It read as follows:
"To. Jonathan
It will be recorded
'Ddakkboki Innovation began sacrifice of
friends and passions of 500 won.'"
That was all. Next week, we will see if the Revolution succeeds. I will keep you posted, assuming I survive with my neck!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Study Bug and Delinquency Man.
Study Bug and Delinquency Man
by one of my Korean middle-school students.
by Uu Ji Hyoon.
There are many study bugs and delinquency men. In everywhere, "Study Bug" means a person who know only studying and "Delinquency Man" means a depraved man, as you know.
These people have a lot of differences. First, when school lessons, Study Bugs always concentrate their lessons and their hands move in a hurry because of taking notes. But Delinquency Men is different. They never concentrate their lessons and their hands move under the desk because of sending a mobile phone message.
Second, when free time, Study Bugs review lessons or read a book. However, Delinquency Men is justly different. They never review lessons but sometime they read a book, too.
...To be sure, their book is a comic.
Except for these points, Study Bugs and Delinquency Men have many dissimilarity, but they are good friends for certain. These difference is just there characteristics.
by one of my Korean middle-school students.
by Uu Ji Hyoon.
There are many study bugs and delinquency men. In everywhere, "Study Bug" means a person who know only studying and "Delinquency Man" means a depraved man, as you know.
These people have a lot of differences. First, when school lessons, Study Bugs always concentrate their lessons and their hands move in a hurry because of taking notes. But Delinquency Men is different. They never concentrate their lessons and their hands move under the desk because of sending a mobile phone message.
Second, when free time, Study Bugs review lessons or read a book. However, Delinquency Men is justly different. They never review lessons but sometime they read a book, too.
...To be sure, their book is a comic.
Except for these points, Study Bugs and Delinquency Men have many dissimilarity, but they are good friends for certain. These difference is just there characteristics.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Korean Kids Say the Darndest Things
It's been awhile since I've updated things on here, but I was incapacitated for about 9-10 days with food poisening, which was a terrible experience. Also, our workload has increased at Seoul Language Academy because we now have to call the students at home after they leave the academy and speak to them in English for 3-5 minutes apiece so that their parents can observe them speaking English on the phone and be convinced that all this extracurricular education really is worth the cost. Brian and I generally end up calling about 20 kids every night, Monday through Thursday and have mind-numblingly one-sided conversations with our students whose every answer is a one word "Yes" or "No," although there are some very pleasant exceptions. Some of the kids speak very well for their ages and carry on enjoyable spontaneous conversations that occassionally reach lengths of nearly 10 minutes if we aren't careful.
Anyways, in other hakwon news, some parents of children in one of our Korean coworker's classes have complained that their children's writing assignments are not being graded by "native-speakers" (a.k.a.-white people) so our boss announced to us the other day that while the Korean teacher will continue to teach these kids, Brian and I as the only two native-speakers will be grading all of the writing assignments for these classes. It is a bit of extra work on top of the new phone-call system, too, but it isn't without it's own benefits. The essays that we grade are from higher-level middle school students who have a decent grasp on how to communicate their ideas in English on paper, but decidedly have not mastered it. There are numerous examples that I will now provide of when that ability to communicate fails (or sometimes triumphs) through unconventional or creative uses of the English language.
Some students were asked to write about what they would do if they were elected President of the Republic of Korea. With varying degrees of megalomania, they each described their political platforms as best they could:
"My ultimate aim is kill Bussi [Bush]. I will drop the guided missile in White House."[!!]
"Second, Korean's economy will boom by me."
"Third, I'll destroy hakwon [private learning institutions]. First, Seoul Hakwon." [that's where I work!]
Another student said, "Last, I'll buy White House." (hopefully our earlier student will realize that "Bussi" doesn't live there anymore before he sends the cruise missiles raining down on his classmate!)
---------------
In another class, I overheard some girls talking while they should have been writing and I scrawled their conversation down quickly because it was hilarious. Korean children are obsessed with who is "Genius" and who is "바ㅂㅗ," (Babo) meaning stupid.
Girl 1: "Genius is not crazy."
Girl 2: "Umm, sometimes genius is crazy."
Girl 1: "You are not genius! HAHAHA!"
---------------
Last week, our Korean coworker handed Brian and I a stack of about 27 persuasive essays from some of his classes and we got right to work on editing them and writing advice and encouragement to the students. To make the job more interesting for myself, I kept a piece of paper seperate nearby to copy down some of the more hilarious parts of the essays, with titles ranging from "Television's Advantage," "Need More Expensive," "Lookism," "Be a Christian," to "Don't Smoke."
The opening hook sentence of "Don't Smoke" was pretty hilarious and very gripping:
"Are you a difficult person that harm other people's health? I mean, are you a smoker?"
Other writing samples were less coherent, but still amusing:
"Be not related to take time, backbiting near from other from other in sometime."
Sometimes, that's what we're dealing with...
Another student said,
"Nowadays Korean politicians' and president's mind have become too dirty."
My goodness, we've elected a bunch of perverts!
In the bluntly titled, "Be a Christian," a student proselytized with this airtight reasoning:
"Third, you can eat lunch without paying. Sunday lunch is free to Christians. And during the Christmas, you can get a gift for celebrate Jesus's birthday freely, no cost, without money, isn't it interesting, right?"
In my critique, I questioned whether this was really one of the top three arguments for converting to Christianity. Doesn't Christianity preach against both Greed and Gluttony? I also mentioned that eventually, you grow up, get a job, and end up spending a small fortune every Christmas season...in retrospect, I hope this kid didn't still believe that his presents came from Santa Claus--oops!
From the essay, "Television's Advantage," there were these two gems:
"Television makes me our life more funny except the News about accident. There are programs that caused our sympathy."
"I agree with that, but I think proper watching television gives us many useful things and makes our life funny!"
Another essay, "Need More Expensive," derided people who made a show of their opulence:
"They just want to show their handsome supercars to their friends and say 'Hey guys, this Porsche is really cheap, it just cost 100000$!' Then their friend may answer 'Wow! X are very rich guy!' Whatever.
"...In summary, you don't need more expensive things. You can live cheaper. But if you still want luxury goods, I can't stop you. However, do not surprise about your money lose in your bank book. It maybe entrance of terrible money Hell!"
Ominous!
In the final amusing essay, a student wrote about a phenomenom he decided to call "Lookism."
"Beauty controls us, our country, and the world...This phenomenom which is tendency to judging people by their appearance is called lookism. This ridiculous vogue has brought disadvantages for us. We should try to remove this phenomenom.
...Also, we donot need to always keep beauty. We have our own characteristic. That is our appeal, our arms against the lookism, and our strong points...What is beauty? There are no answers. But I say, 'We are the beauty.'"
English spelling and grammar issues aside, that is a bit of a profound ending, don't you think? I'll bring you all some more pearls of wisdom in the future as I grade more papers.
Anyways, in other hakwon news, some parents of children in one of our Korean coworker's classes have complained that their children's writing assignments are not being graded by "native-speakers" (a.k.a.-white people) so our boss announced to us the other day that while the Korean teacher will continue to teach these kids, Brian and I as the only two native-speakers will be grading all of the writing assignments for these classes. It is a bit of extra work on top of the new phone-call system, too, but it isn't without it's own benefits. The essays that we grade are from higher-level middle school students who have a decent grasp on how to communicate their ideas in English on paper, but decidedly have not mastered it. There are numerous examples that I will now provide of when that ability to communicate fails (or sometimes triumphs) through unconventional or creative uses of the English language.
Some students were asked to write about what they would do if they were elected President of the Republic of Korea. With varying degrees of megalomania, they each described their political platforms as best they could:
"My ultimate aim is kill Bussi [Bush]. I will drop the guided missile in White House."[!!]
"Second, Korean's economy will boom by me."
"Third, I'll destroy hakwon [private learning institutions]. First, Seoul Hakwon." [that's where I work!]
Another student said, "Last, I'll buy White House." (hopefully our earlier student will realize that "Bussi" doesn't live there anymore before he sends the cruise missiles raining down on his classmate!)
---------------
In another class, I overheard some girls talking while they should have been writing and I scrawled their conversation down quickly because it was hilarious. Korean children are obsessed with who is "Genius" and who is "바ㅂㅗ," (Babo) meaning stupid.
Girl 1: "Genius is not crazy."
Girl 2: "Umm, sometimes genius is crazy."
Girl 1: "You are not genius! HAHAHA!"
---------------
Last week, our Korean coworker handed Brian and I a stack of about 27 persuasive essays from some of his classes and we got right to work on editing them and writing advice and encouragement to the students. To make the job more interesting for myself, I kept a piece of paper seperate nearby to copy down some of the more hilarious parts of the essays, with titles ranging from "Television's Advantage," "Need More Expensive," "Lookism," "Be a Christian," to "Don't Smoke."
The opening hook sentence of "Don't Smoke" was pretty hilarious and very gripping:
"Are you a difficult person that harm other people's health? I mean, are you a smoker?"
Other writing samples were less coherent, but still amusing:
"Be not related to take time, backbiting near from other from other in sometime."
Sometimes, that's what we're dealing with...
Another student said,
"Nowadays Korean politicians' and president's mind have become too dirty."
My goodness, we've elected a bunch of perverts!
In the bluntly titled, "Be a Christian," a student proselytized with this airtight reasoning:
"Third, you can eat lunch without paying. Sunday lunch is free to Christians. And during the Christmas, you can get a gift for celebrate Jesus's birthday freely, no cost, without money, isn't it interesting, right?"
In my critique, I questioned whether this was really one of the top three arguments for converting to Christianity. Doesn't Christianity preach against both Greed and Gluttony? I also mentioned that eventually, you grow up, get a job, and end up spending a small fortune every Christmas season...in retrospect, I hope this kid didn't still believe that his presents came from Santa Claus--oops!
From the essay, "Television's Advantage," there were these two gems:
"Television makes me our life more funny except the News about accident. There are programs that caused our sympathy."
"I agree with that, but I think proper watching television gives us many useful things and makes our life funny!"
Another essay, "Need More Expensive," derided people who made a show of their opulence:
"They just want to show their handsome supercars to their friends and say 'Hey guys, this Porsche is really cheap, it just cost 100000$!' Then their friend may answer 'Wow! X are very rich guy!' Whatever.
"...In summary, you don't need more expensive things. You can live cheaper. But if you still want luxury goods, I can't stop you. However, do not surprise about your money lose in your bank book. It maybe entrance of terrible money Hell!"
Ominous!
In the final amusing essay, a student wrote about a phenomenom he decided to call "Lookism."
"Beauty controls us, our country, and the world...This phenomenom which is tendency to judging people by their appearance is called lookism. This ridiculous vogue has brought disadvantages for us. We should try to remove this phenomenom.
...Also, we donot need to always keep beauty. We have our own characteristic. That is our appeal, our arms against the lookism, and our strong points...What is beauty? There are no answers. But I say, 'We are the beauty.'"
English spelling and grammar issues aside, that is a bit of a profound ending, don't you think? I'll bring you all some more pearls of wisdom in the future as I grade more papers.
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